Fibromyalgia Day

May
12
2012
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This letter was written for people with Fibromyalgia to share today, Fibromyalgia Awareness Day. Thank you for reading it, and feel free to ask me any questions you might have.

An open letter to anyone who has a fibromyalgia patient in his or her life.

By Karen Lee Richards

If you are reading this, someone close to you lives with and suffers
from fibromyalgia (FM). Since FM is invisible, many find it hard to
believe that it is a real illness or that anyone could really hurt
that much all the time. Unfortunately, this is one of the main
reasons that fibromyalgia is so often misunderstood, misdiagnosed and
not properly treated.

Fibromyalgia is a central nervous system disorder that has three
primary components: pain, fatigue and sleep problems.

(1) Pain – The pain may vary in intensity and location, but it is present most, if
not all, of the time.

(2) Fatigue – The fatigue is not like the tiredness you might feel after working
too hard or overdoing it on a sports field. It’s a pervasive, all-encompassing
exhaustion – like someone pulled the plug on your energy source.

(3) Sleep – The person with FM usually has difficulty sleeping. And even when
they do finally sleep, they never reach that deep REM stage of sleep where the
body refreshes and restores itself.

The root cause of fibromyalgia remains a mystery, however, it is
usually triggered by some kind of trauma to the body, such as an
injury or illness. In some cases, it can also be triggered by a
severe emotional trauma. Regardless the source, FM devastates the
life it touches. Unrelenting pain and fatigue reduces a person’s
ability to concentrate, perform daily tasks, work, socialize, exercise
and sleep. The more severe the symptoms, the more incapacitating it
can be. Fibromyalgia often leads to depression, isolation and loss of
self-esteem. Sadly, people whose FM is poorly controlled may also be
at increased risk for suicide.

There are four main things someone with fibromyalgia needs you to understand:

1. What they are feeling and experiencing.

If you have a difficult time imagining what it must be like to live
with the pain of fibromyalgia, I’d like to challenge you to try an
experiment. Take a wooden clothespin – the kind with the spring that
works by pinching one end together and clamping the other end to the
clothesline – only instead of attaching it to a clothesline, clamp it
to the end of one of your fingers. Now go about your business and see
how long you can leave it on. While you still have the clothespin
attached to your finger, try to imagine how it would feel if you knew
you couldn’t take it off when the pain got to be too much. What would
it be like to have that non-stop pain all over your body? Now think
about what it would feel like to have the flu at the same time – the
kind of flu where every muscle in your body aches and it takes every
ounce of energy you can muster just to drag yourself out of bed.
Finally, imagine that the pain and fatigue doesn’t just continue for a
day, or a week, or even a month, but goes on for year after year with
little hope that it will end. If you can imagine that, then you have
a small inkling of what your loved one lives with each and every day.

2. What they are not.

Fibromyalgia is not a psychological disorder – it is an all too real
physical illness. Those who have it are not hypochondriacs; nor are
they lazy, overly sensitive or just trying to get attention. And they
are not simply depressed. Although depression may or may not
accompany FM, it is not the cause of it. The percentage of people
with FM who also have depression is no greater than for any other
chronic illness.

3. Every fibromyalgia patient is different.

The differences in FM patients exist on a couple of levels. One is
the severity of their symptoms. While one patient may be able to
continue working, another may be severely disabled and in some cases,
even confined to a wheelchair. Just because you may know someone else
with FM who is functioning fairly well doesn’t mean your loved one is
faking or not trying hard enough. It simply means they have a more
severe case.

Another big difference is how various treatments options work. What
helps one person with FM doesn’t necessarily help another. Also,
people with FM tend to have a lot of sensitivities to medications, so
it often takes much trial and error to find something that will help.
We find that what works best for most FM patients is some combination
of medication, gentle exercise, lifestyle changes, and often some kind
of complementary treatment like massage therapy, acupuncture,
supplements, etc. Unfortunately, it can take a long time to find that
ideal combination.

4. What you can do.

The main thing your friend or family member needs from you is your
understanding, support and encouragement. They know you can’t take
their pain away. They just want you to listen without judging them
and let them know you care. Often people with fibromyalgia have told
me that the emotional pain of having loved ones question the validity
of their illness or accuse them of just being lazy is, in many ways,
worse than the physical pain they have to deal with. They already
struggle with feelings of guilt because sometimes they can’t “be
there” for family and friends as much as they’d like to be. Try to
reassure them that you care about them for who they are, not just what
they can physically do for you.

If you’d like to know some other ways you can help, there’s a very
nice and inexpensive little book that is chock-full of suggestions.
Read my review of “Beyond Casseroles: 505 Ways to Encourage a
Chronically Ill Friend” for a sampling of its contents.

Finally, if you’d like to learn more about FM, please check out our
Fibromyalgia page at www.ChronicPainConnection.

 

com and feel free to ask
questions.

Best regards,

Karen Lee Richards
ChronicPainConnection Expert

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Good Friday

Apr
6
2012
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Have you spent any time this week thinking about the significance of the next few days? I have to admit that I have not spent nearly as much time thinking about Passover and Easter as I had planned. Once again, it seems that I have had much grander plans than I have actual follow though.

I bought books to read to the boys about Easter, I even setup a schedule of Bible readings for the entire Holy Week, but somehow between company coming, and me being sick, I completely forgot about it. Now here I am, on Good Friday, and I have not given this Holy Week any priority to my family. It’s crossed my mind, but that is about it.

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Stuart Miles/freedigitalphotos.net

I struggle with how someone can be a Christian writer and yet manage to give my Saviour’s death such little priority. And then peace overflows me reminding me that this is exactly why my Messiah came for me. He came because He knows my weakness, and He knows my heart. He knows that no matter how hard I try, I will never be perfect enough to do it all right.

So today, I rest in His grace, praying that today I will share more of His love with my family, but knowing that no matter how I fail, He still loves me.

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She Speaks 2012

Mar
24
2012

She Speaks Graduate

Happy, happy, joy, joy! Do you have something in your life that you look forward to so much that this is the best way to describe it? Something that you enjoy so much that you anticipate it almost year round? For my next-door neighbor, this is scrapbooking. She loves to go up to the mountains with her girlfriends for a long weekend of cutting, cropping and chatting. I have never developed the skill of putting together a scrapbook, but I understand her excitement. For me, that excitement comes with the announcement that it is time to register for this year’s She Speaks conference put on by Proverbs 31 Ministries.

In this amazing conference, 600-700 women descend on the Embassy Suites in Concord, NC to learn how to better serve others. It is unlike any other conference that I’ve ever seen. Popular Christian speakers, writers, bloggers, editors and publishers volunteer their time to help other women who have a desire to serve God more fully. They teach us how to keep our hearts open, and our message fresh; how to balance our ministry and our families; and how to be more effective in our calling. I love to call it a combination of a the biggest grown-up slumber party combined with Christian bootcamp.

Each year brings the joy of networking with many other Christian women, but it also brings some unique opportunities as well. One of those is the possibility of pitching your book to a publisher. I have seen others do this and thought that I was glad that I was not an author because the concept was terrifying. Once again, I should have been careful with what I thought and said. In the middle of She Speaks 2011, God put it on my heart that by the time that She Speaks 2012 comes around, I needed to have my book ready to pitch.

I admit that I felt a bit like Moses when he told God that he couldn’t speak to a big crowd, “Um, God, I don’t have a book. And in case You’ve forgotten, no disrespect meant here, Lord; you’ve completely closed up my mind, and I haven’t even been able to blog for months. What do you mean ‘Have my book ready?’” He assured me that when I got home from the conference, I would know what it was that I was to be writing, and that I should have it ready for the next summer.

Throughout the conference, I struggled with distraction as I wondered what it was that I was supposed to be writing. I left the conference, admittedly a bit confused, still not having an idea of what I was supposed to be writing about. On my way home, I prayed about what I was supposed to write, and I asked God why He hadn’t revealed it to me. He assured me again that when I got home, I would know what to write. I tried not to struggle with Him about the semantics that I was 15 minutes from home and still did not have an answer, but I had a peace that He would come through in His timing (read: at the very last second possible).

A little while later, He reminded me of something that my mother and I used to do as I was growing up. As I thought about it, He put on my heart that this was what He wanted me to write about. He slowly brought ideas to my mind on how to start compiling it. Even before I reached my driveway, I was feeling overwhelmed with the complexity of the project. I knew that there was no way that I could do justice to what He was asking. Then He helped me to realize that this was the point. He wanted to receive all of the glory by doing something miraculous through me.

Over the past eight months, I have been working on this project. I had so much of it put together by November that I was starting to get excited that this could actually happen. But God allowed me to experience a little more humility and trust in Him. The computer that I had been doing all of my work on crashed. I did not worry about it because I am insistent on doing regular backups, even to the point of having my own server at home that also backs up off-site to make sure that nothing is lost. After we got my replacement computer setup, I began to look for my work, and I realized that I had made a fatal error. I had not marked that program for backup, and the files were not stored with my other backups. I had lost every single piece of my work. I tried to convince myself that this must mean that God did not really want me to write this book. In order to make it clear that this was absolutely to be my priority, He allowed me to become sick so that I would be confined to bed. Now I have nowhere else to be, allowing me much time to write as much as He leads. But the butterflies still tried to convince me that it would just be way too scary to actually present to a publisher. But I have committed that no matter how scary it is, I will do what God has told me to do.

So, with that in mind, I registered for this year’s She Speaks Conference. I have requested to meet with a publisher, and I need to have at least three chapters along with my concept completely ready before I get there on July 19, 2012.

Would you please pray with me for the following:

1) I do not know which publisher(s) I will be assigned to. Please pray that God prepares their hearts for the message that He is wanting delivered, and that whoever is assigning publishers will place me with the one who God wants to receive my proposal.

2) Pray for my peace as I present to them. I am an “okay” writer, and a much worse speaker. Please pray that God gives me the confidence and the words to share His message for this book.

3) Please pray for my health. At this point, I still cannot be out of bed for more than a few minutes without facing severe exhaustion, and I cannot walk more than a few feet. Please pray that I will either develop the strength that I need by then, or that I will be able to obtain the devices that I need in order to function for the weekend.

Thank you, dear friends, for you support as I walk down this new road.

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Filed Under: Homeschool

Hope Tour 2012 by Tracy Ruckman — Kickstarter

Mar
20
2012

Have you ever had an idea so crazy that it just might work? Sometimes God guides us along a path that is more wonderful than we could have ever imagined. For me, it is writing. For Tracy Ruckman, it is creating a writer’s tour. I am so excited that Hope Tour 2012 is coming through the Charlotte/Concord, NC area. I hope I will see some of you there.

 

<iframe frameborder=”0″ height=”360px” src=”http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/489881602/hope-tour-2012/widget/video.html” width=”480px”></iframe>

via Hope Tour 2012 by Tracy Ruckman — Kickstarter.

Filed Under: Homeschool

Why I Will Walk on October 27, 2012 (Even if it is in a Wheelchair)

Mar
17
2012
Autism Speaks Logo

When we signed the adoption paperwork, we were told that his older half brother had HFA (high-functioning autism); so we knew there was a chance that he could as well. But he was such an active boy that we didn’t think this could be the case. Everything we knew about autism suggested that autistic children were non-engaging. Yet we knew something was going on. By six months old, he couldn’t be still. At two, five, and even nine, he couldn’t eat with utensils. He was known for rolling on the floor when he didn’t know what to do. Yet anyone professional who met him told me he was fine. We learned this month that they were wrong.

Then our second son came along eighteen months after the first. From the moment we first touched him, we knew something was definitely wrong. If you touched him, he screamed. If you put him in a carseat, it was worse. Forget holding him. He wouldn’t allow it. He also basically refused to eat. It was a constant struggle not to have him with a feeding tube. But we finally found a couple of foods he would eat. No one could mess with his things. He still has a separate bedroom just for his toys, which he doesn’t sleep in, so that they will not get messed up. Colors must be exact, and nothing can change. Still we were told that it was just mom’s overactive imagination because he was a perfectly charming boy (because mom only let him go out when he was “in balance”). This month, we also got the news that he very definitely had Asperger’s. Not even a chance that this was not what it was.

So now, the speech and occupational therapy jump up from once per week to three times each week. More food challenges face us, and more people pressure us to just give them over to the school system because it has to be too much for any mom to handle, much less one who is chronically ill.

But we are finding our pace. We don’t do things at the speed that other families do, and we do not participate in as many activities as others might. We show ourselves and each other a lot more grace, and we find that we receive a lot more love. Our lives are not always perfect, or even easy; but they are blessed. So this is where we keep our focus. Not on the difficulties, but on the improvements. Each day we find one more step that leads us to a solution that provides calm, love and balance. What more could a family need?

Well, what this family needs is to support research to help not only our own family, but also all the others who struggle with Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD). This year, we will be walking with Walk Now for Autism- Carolinas. We are hoping to raise at least $500 to help the cause. Would you walk with us this year?

You have a couple of options if you would like to join us. First, we would love if you could physically stand beside us and walk in Concord, NC on October 27, 2012. If you would like to join our walking team, you can sign up here. However, we know that it is not physically possible for all of our friends and loved ones to be here, so we would be honored and grateful if you could donate any amount to our team to help promote this great cause. You can donate on our family page and learn more about why we are walking by clicking here.

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Changing Perspectives of an Odyssey

Mar
9
2012
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When I began this blog about four years ago, it was with the idea of happily following along the journey of our easy homeschool adventures. I imagined lots of pictures of us doing fun activities, children who were actively engaged in the process, and little Einsteins sprouting up before my eyes.

While many of those things have happened, there has been so much more that the more has almost overtaken the original. During this time, we have had children diagnosed with physical, development and emotional delays, ADHD, injuries, Aspergers and even Autism, not to mention life in general.

Perhaps, I imagined walking down the yellow brick road with Dorothy, but forgot about the encounters along the path that make the journey what it truly is.

Then there are the little things that I like to forget, or at least sweep into a corner or under a rug in the hopes that no one will really notice them. But somehow they keep coming back, like my own personal chronic illnesses. Lately they have overshadowed everything that we do. It is not a reality that I like, but it is a reality that I need to accept in order to be the mom that I really need to be.

Today, I was looking for support, assuming correctly that I am not the only mom with chronic illnesses who home schools. It will take me some time to go through all of the links, but today, I wanted to share a link to a great resource that I already love as a homeschool mom, The Heart of The Matter Online.

I hope that you not only enjoy this article, but that you see our homeschooling world from a different perspective.

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JERICHO: The Promise Fulfilled

Mar
8
2012

Are your children as in love with video games as mine are? In our family, we have learned to use video games as a reward because they are such a favorite. But often, I worry about exactly what is hiding inside the games once they get through the “parental approval” stage.

Do you have that one in your family? You know, the one where mom and/or dad sit with the child during the first few days that they play a new game to make sure that there is nothing inappropriate in it? I am still amazed as they boys get further into the games at what is presented. Although most of it is not necessarily age-inappropriate, most of it does not do anything to support our personal values.

Over the Christmas holidays, we went into the Apple Store in Northlake Mall. I had all of the boys with me as I chatted with the sales clerk. As is typical when three school-age boys trail behind mom in the middle of the school day, the clerk asked if I home schooled. I obviously agreed, and he began telling me that he was home schooled as well. He then began telling me about a project that he and his siblings had created for one of their high school projects using Apple’s video capabilities and stop-motion photography. They named their project “JERICHO: The Promise Fulfilled.” The entire project combined their love of God and the Bible with their advancing skills in videography.

Today, I got an e-mail from them announcing that they are competing with two other projects to have a chance to “get on the shelf” at Walmart. From what I have heard in the past, this is a huge deal. Walmart is very particular about what they carry on their shelves; and if the products don’t sell, the manufacturer has to buy them back.

Please help these innovation young people get an opportunity to share their message with a nationwide audience at Walmart. Clicking on the link below will give you the opportunity to tell Walmart that this is the kind of product that you would like to see carried, and specifically that you would like to see THIS product available on the shelves.

Get On The Shelf.

Filed Under: Bible Stories, Homeschool, Parenting Tagged With: , , ,

Testing on 2/17

Feb
18
2012
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IStock 000001128681XSmallWe started the day today with an MRI of my lower spine with contrast. I began to suspect that there must be something a little different about this test after the third technician asked me why my doctor would be ordering this type of test. Apparently it is usually only ordered after spinal surgery to look for scar tissue.

800px Thisisspinaltap After the MRI was completed, I got a new experience. Lately, it is a rare thing when a doctor orders a procedure that I have never had before. But today, I got to add a new one to my repertoire: a spinal tap. I was extremely nervous about this one since I have heard so many scary stories about them. I made sure that I had fully hydrated myself, and that i had eaten nothing even though they said that I could have a light breakfast. I was definitely glad that I had done both, as well as taking the pain medicine that I was given. Even with the medication, I just about jumped off the table. The actual procedure was fairly quick, but a headache started halfway through the procedure. Because of this, I had the privilege of getting a little extra time in the recovery room.

The nurse recommended that I spend at least 6 hours laying flat, and then possibly overnight to reduce risk of headache. I’ve rested 8 hours, been up for 2, but will be back down soon.

Please pray for tomorrow. If I do contract a headache from the spinal tap, it will probably occur sometime overnight. Since I have a tendency towards headaches, and I tend to fall within that beautiful 1-3% chance window on most procedures, we are praying for the best, but anticipating that the worst may occur.

Filed Under: Health Tagged With: ,

Where did all that come from? (AKA Wendy’s crazy health journey)

Feb
13
2012

First, thank you so much for asking. It means a lot to know that someone cares what is happening.

Way back when I was in high school, I got a really bad case of Epstein-Barr (mono) that weakened my immune system. It took about a year to get over. During the same time period, I fell during an ice storm and hit my back leaving school. L4 & L5 were apparently injured, but we didn’t realize it. The next year, I was in a car wreck that injured my neck and my back. Again, didn’t really do anything about it. Then I had a horseback riding accident and broke my ankle, but we didn’t realize it was broken.

During my first year of college, I got what the nurse thought was a flu bug, but turned out to be Lyme disease. I had it for 18 years before anyone realized that this is what it was.

By the time I was out of college, I was having repeated episodes of not being able to feel or move one or both of my legs, and having extended periods of exhaustion. Doctors wrote it off to my previously untreated back injuries and working too much.

Then in 2000, one month before I was getting married, I was walking home from work and a woman ran a red light. My back was injured again, and I was unable to walk for almost a month. With a lot of pain medicine, I was able to walk down the aisle for my wedding, but I was in PT for several months afterwards. Within a year, my doctors were telling me that I would have to stop working because my job was irritating the injury and would probably cause paralysis within three years.

I stopped working. We adopted our first son, then through a lot of fertility treatments gave birth to our second son. When he was seven months old, I injured L3 and re-injured L4 & L5 while working out at the YMCA.

That injury resulted in another 3 years of basically no ability to walk, but excruciating pain if I even touched my foot to the floor. By that time, they had discovered the Lyme Disease and also realized that I was suffering from extreme Adrenal Insufficiency, which was most likely what had been causing the leg issues since 1993.

As I was beginning to heal from all of this, I became pregnant again. I was on bed rest for most of that pregnancy, still with significant leg issues and dealing with the Lyme.

During my pregnancy, the doctors had me on about 60 pills a day to help combat the pain and fight off the Lyme. I was closely monitored to make sure that Jacob was not being affected as much as possible. Halfway through the pregnancy, they were able to give me some injections that alleviated most of my walking issues.

However, when he was five months old, I twisted my back walking through the front door to go out for an Easter Egg hunt. I was immediately put back on most of my medications and fitted for a walker and wheelchair. We tried steroid injections, pain medication, acupuncture, PT, chiropractic adjustments, medications and herbs, but nothing helped. By the end of 2007, we had accepted that I would have to have a triple fusion of my spine.

Two weeks before the surgery, I was introduced to a therapy method called “The Egoscue Method”. It was a combination of yoga, pilates and PT. In one session, I was able to actually walk out of the building, and within one week, I was no longer feeling pain. It was the most amazing experience I could ever imagine.

Off and on over the next two years, I would have relapses with my leg, but nothing serious.

Then around Thanksgiving 2009, I started getting really sick. I could not eat anything, and I dropped about 15% of my body weight in two months. Doctors could not find a cause and finally sent me to an oncologist thinking that I had ovarian cancer. They discovered instead that I had Ando-endometriosis and blocked gall bladder ducts. I had surgery to have a complete hysterectomy and have my gall bladder removed. The surgery ended up lasting almost double what they had anticipated because all of my internal organs had adhered together.

Three weeks into my recovery, our house started flooding. We had floods every three weeks until the beginning of July. At that point, I still had not recovered fully from the surgery and we decided to bring in someone to help with the boys so that I could rest a little more.

We hired a sweet girl from Brazil to live with us for six months (July-January) so that I could recover. Three weeks into her being with us, I tripped in the garage and broke my ankle again. This was now the third time that I had injured my ankle. When I first saw the orthopedist, he said that it was not broken, but it was the worst sprain that he had seen in his career. I had shredded every ligament and tendon around my ankle.

I was put back on bed rest and told to stay off my ankle for a couple of weeks, then I should be fine. After three months, I was still in horrible pain. He finally did an MRI and discovered that I had chipped the entire side off my ankle, and my bone fragments had embedded into my ligaments and tendons causing even more tears.

He wanted to do immediate surgery, but mom and I were already scheduled to be leaving the next day to take a cruise and hike the Mayan ruins. He agreed to let me go as long as I did not do the hike.

When we returned, it was scheduling conflict after conflict. Our au pair had to return to Brazil, so we hired another girl to take her place since I was going to be out of commission for a while. The girl ended up not making it, so the surgery was postponed for a while longer.

It ended up being the end of May before we finally found someone who would be able to stay and help with the boys long-term. During that entire time, I just kept pushing myself to keep up with the house, get the repairs done, and homeschool the boys. In our spare time, we were working on starting a new business which seemed to be taking more and more of my energy.

I finally had my surgery in June, but I could not seem to recover. From the time I got home, I noticed that I would have great difficulty in getting my legs to move before noon. I didn’t worry about it too much since I had help with the boys, but it seemed a little strange.

In September, we flew to California to meet with the company that we were hoping to franchise with, and to see friends and family (my husband Greg grew up there, and we had lived there until 2008). I struggled to be able to have the energy to even make it to our meetings, and I was in bed most of the rest of the time we were gone.

When we returned, I went to bed and was not able to get up. If I was up for more than 1-2 hours in a day, then I was having a great day. I was more and more fatigued. I talked to my doctor about it and she referred me to an endocrinologist who was not available to meet with me until the end of January. We decided to have me take it easy until I could get in.

Then over the holidays, we ended up having a dozen extra people at the house. They had inadvertently brought a flu bug with them. The children got it, and they were each sick for about 4-6 hours. Then I got it. I was in bed sick for 6 days. On the seventh day, I was feeling better, so I stayed up for several hours. The next day, I was tired and wanted to rest a little more.

I remember talking with Dominic (my middle son) somewhere around noon, then laying down to take a nap. When I woke, I realized that I could not move my legs. I didn’t worry about it too much because this had become fairly typical at this point. Then I realized that I could not move my arms. Again, not too worried because this was not the first time that it had happened. Then I realized that I could not open my eyes, talk, move my fingers, or budge in any way. I could hear everything around me, but I had no way of letting anyone else know.

I thought that if I rested a little longer, I would be okay. Best we can tell, this was somewhere around 2-3 in the afternoon. My husband came home from work at 4:30 pm and came in to check on me. I heard him talking to me, but I still could not respond in any way. He commented that I was sleeping really peacefully and he didn’t want to disturb me. I started to panic and tried to figure out some way to let him know that something was wrong, but nothing worked.

He went out for about an hour to let me rest, then came back in. When he did, our au pair and the boys came in as well. They started realizing that no one had talked to me in several hours, and no one had seen me moving. They tried to “wake” me and couldn’t. Then they all started to panic. By 6 pm, they had called 911 and our street was flooded with emergency personnel. Based on my symptoms, they all thought that I had tried to kill myself, but they could not find any evidence of it. They just had never seen anything else like this before.

At this point, I began praying that God would give me something to show them that I was still in here. I realized that if I focused really hard, I could move one finger. I began tapping that finger incessantly, hoping someone would notice. They did, but the paramedics wrote it off to a twitch. My oldest son kept insisting that mom was trying to communicate, but they all ignored him.

I finally made it to the ER and got pumped with a lot of IV fluids. By the time the doctor came in, I could move my finger as well as that hand a little bit; but still no one realized that I was communicating with them. As the doctor asked questions, I started tapping more vehemently and moving my hand in different directions to yes and no. Fortunately, she was able to realize that I was communicating and her treatment approach changed greatly. It went from assuming this was a suicide to realizing that something was really wrong.

I was immediately rushed in for CAT scans, MRI, EKG, blood tests. But they could find nothing wrong. After about 6 hours of fluids, I was stable enough that I could open my eyes and talk a little. She recommended that my husband immediately head to Cookout and bring me back a burger to try to get some more energy in me. After seeing that I could handle the food, she sent us home with instructions to follow up with a neurologist later that day.

After a little sleep, Greg called the neurologist that the doctor had recommended. The receptionist said that it usually takes a couple of weeks to get in, but that she would get my chart and see how quickly she could get me in. Within 15 minutes, she was calling back to see if I could be in the office within the hour. This scared both of us quite a bit. I’ve never seen a doctor move that quickly.

When we got in, we spent about an hour with the neurologist. He did not want to give a diagnosis, but he did want to run another battery of tests. He scheduled a sleep study to see if it was possibly narcolepsy-induced paralysis; blood tests to rule out the Lyme coming back; and he referred me to a specialist in Chapel Hill (NC, about 3 hours away) who specializes in adrenal disorders.

After the sleep study, he said that I definitely did not have a problem with narcolepsy, so we started more tests. His next test was a nerve-conduction study. I was incredibly nervous about this one because we had tried to do this test when I was in so much pain the last time, and I ended up passing out and not being able to finish the test.

By the time of this test, mom had come out to stay with me for a couple of weeks because I had been confined to bed until they can figure out what is going on.

We did the nerve study again, and I made it through with a lot of Yoga breathing. The doctor confirmed that I was definitely still having a lot of nerve issues that seemed to be unrelated to the incident that put me in the hospital. At this point, we knew that we were dealing with at least two different issues. He gave me a really long title of what was going on. Basically it is lumbar spinal stenosis (which I have known I had since around 2000) with something added on that means that my legs get really weak and I cannot walk on them for long periods of time. He suggested that I get a permanent Disabled Parking Permit, and that I probably needed to be tested to see if it was safe for me to be driving. I begged off that one for now since I am not driving anyways. I know that I will have to deal with it eventually, but I just wasn’t prepared for that finality yet.

Then to deal with the adrenal issues, I found a naturopathic doctor that deals with a lot of hormone issues including adrenals. I have opted to work with him first since he is local, then go to Chapel Hill if I am not seeing results. He currently has me on bed rest while we wait for several tests to come back.

So far, I have been in bed since December 30. The first 35 days were a complete blur. I was rarely awake for more than 1-2 hours. Over the past 1-2 weeks, I have been able to sit up and focus on things for short periods of time. I still have incredible pain in my legs and back; and I have enough weakness in my arms and legs that I have to use a scooter to get around the house most of the time.

After a lot of prayer, Greg and I both have a peace that God is choosing not to heal my legs. It has been a really hard place for me to come to. I am so used to being independent, and my boys are so young. But I know that He has a reason. Every time I start to question His wisdom, He brings to mind another verse filled with His promises of care, protection and providence. So this week, we have finally accepted that we cannot fight His will anymore.

Filed Under: Health

Dear Mr. and Mrs. George Mueller

Feb
3
2012
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If you are joining me today from Laced With Grace, welcome. I am so honored that you would take the time to stop by and visit me as well.

From my childhood, George Mueller was always one of my heroes. He was such an amazing man of prayer and humility. I was honestly in awe of him and put him up on the “Hero Shelf.” A place to be admired, but not a place that I ever considered that I would aspire to.

When I met my husband, my parents joked about me marrying a Mueller and maybe become a bit more like George Mueller, but that was the extent of it for me. I was a very relaxed Christian, at best. Church was something that we did if we felt like it, and that was usually quite rare considering that there is nothing morning about this person. :-)

Over the years, God has worked on my heart about who I am both in myself and in Him. It has not necessarily been pretty or pleasant, but the results are that I have once again begun to consider where my value lies. Not in the half-truths that the Deceiver tries to fill me with that I have no value, but that my value lies in Christ.

IStock 000001189762MediumThis morning, I was studying Galatians 5, and I was reminded of these truths once again. Generally when we think of Galatians 5, we think of the fruits of the flesh and the fruits of the Spirit. But today, my heart was drawn to a couple of other passages. The first passage was verse 7: You were running a good race. Who cut in on you and kept you from obeying the truth?

I was so convicted by this verse that I have skipped over hundred of times in my arrogance of “I’ve read this so many times that I don’t see how I could possibly get anything else out of it” attitude. I paused to meditate for a little while on who really kept me from obeying the truth. The sad reality is that it was me. Yes, I can point blame at Satan because he tempted me. But the truth is that I was the one who made the choice. I made the choice to skip over the verses thinking that I knew it all; I moved forward without God’s guidance because I just kept doing the same thing without checking with Him first to see which step He wanted me to take next.

But once again, the gentle Spirit encouraged me just a few verses later in verse 10 where Paul says, “I am confident in the Lord that you will take no other view. The one who is throwing you into confusion will pay the penalty, whoever he may be.”

Paul’s confidence did not come through believe that we would be able to pull through by ourselves, but that we are “in the Lord”. Whether it is an outside source, or our inner desires, Christ still has the ability to pull us through wherever we are to the place that He desires us to be.

For me, I have determined that even if I am never a George Mueller, I am a Wendy Mueller. I may not open orphanages and preach all around the world, but I can begin and continue each day in prayer. I can commit myself to faithfully trusting that God will provide my needs whether great or small.

Filed Under: Homeschool Tagged With:
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